Ep 89 Is 'Diet Starts Monday' and Resets Hosing Your Progress?

Hello hello hello and welcome back to another episode of the Wellness 4 Women Show where this week I want to talk to you all about the appeal of the fresh start and if it is hosing your progress.

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You'll discover:

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- The psychology to look out for behind the fresh start

- The language of the fresh start to help you identify it

- I'll introduce you to my new tool to overcome it

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So, why this topic? What lead to this show? I am the resident Food Freedom Expert in a friend of mine's Self Care Club and each month we have a theme to cover as the experts and this month it was new beginnings.

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It got me thinking about what does it mean to me and what could it mean to you as listeners of the show.

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You will experience a number of 'new beginnings' in your lifetime and sometimes multiple at once. Maybe you are starting a new job or career path, or maybe you are moving to a new house, city or country. You could be taking up a new hobby, interest, or skill that you've always wanted to pursue.

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I myself have just passed my accreditation as a Belief Coding®️Facilitator which is a new chapter in my business and I have also started learning Reiki and will be working my way up to Master this year.

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​Ultimately, embarking on a new beginning can lead to stepping out of your comfort zone and it may involve embracing change which could depending on the thoughts and emotions that come up could knock into your eating. So this was one option I could have gone down.

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What I decided to cover though was the old 'I am drawing a line', 'I'll start again Monday' mentality, diet thinking, and how to overcome it for food and life freedom.

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​So let's unpack this. I want to help you explore what it means for you.

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​So tell me in the chat when it comes to food... what does new beginnings mean to you?

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Are you excited like cracking open a fresh notebook, all those blank pages just waiting to be filled with possibility or are you staring at the blank page fearful and anxious about what you are going to write and whether it will be good enough?

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​When working on our relationship with food it can feel like a rollercoaster. If you are a traditional 'dieter' then it could feel like the Big One at Blackpool, huge highs and big drops.

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​Diet culture has often been one that leads to phrases like 'starting again', 'on and off the wagon', 'back again', 'I'll start again Monday', 'drawing a line' which I will talk more about later but sticking to the notebook analogy and swapping it to diets. Every time you start a 'diet' it would be like starting a new notebook but maybe you haven't finished the last one so you just start to gather this big pile of unfinished notebooks. Or maybe you could think of it like scribbling in your notebook then ripping out the page and what you are left with is this raggedy tatty notebook the original crisp beautifully clean pages now all ripped and broken.

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​But what if we can keep the notebook clean?

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What if we could have one beautiful notebook and continuously write the beautiful story that is your life, sure there may be plot twists, different chapters, and a few mistakes along the way but still the notebook gets filled and continues on.

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Because here is the thing this whole starting again thing? It's not just about our relationship with food or 'weight loss' if you are working on it.

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Nope, it creeps into every nook and cranny of our lives.

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We can draw lines in all areas of our lives, we hop on and off the wagon, we can be always chasing that elusive fresh start and the next best thing.

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But what if life isn't about starting again and new beginnings? What if I told you that life is more like a dial that we can crank up or dial down whenever we fancy?

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The Appeal Of The Fresh Start

Let's face it we humans and especially those of us who have ever dieted can have teensy obsession with starting again? Especially on Mondays? It's like we're all stuck in this perpetual loop of Groundhog Day, vowing to kickstart our wellness journey every Monday, only to end up back at square one by Friday. Sound familiar?

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It turns out, there's actually a bit of science behind this whole starting again on Monday thing. 🤯

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As humans, we're creatures of habit. We love routines, structure, and predictability. I have talked many times about how our brains love status quo. And what's more predictable than the start of a new week?

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It is ingrained in our culture as humans thanks to the creation of time and the working week typically starting on a Monday and it can feel good to hit the reset button on life, 'weight loss' and everything in between. To feel like you can wipe the slate clean and start afresh.

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But here's where it gets interesting.

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This desire for a fresh start could actually be backfiring on you. The initial relief you felt at the fresh start can ebb away. You may find guilt and shame come up as you haven't really let go of the past week, month, year or whatever it is you were restarting.

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​When we constantly find ourselves in this cycle of starting again, it can lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and even guilt. We start to question our ability to stick to our goals, and before we know it, we're right back where we started. We can also not learn anything from the previous period as we attempt to just 'draw a line' and don't actually look at where it went 'off track' and so we just continue to repeat the same patterns because it is what our brain knows. It is our norm, our old well worn groves.

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Plus also if there is any type of delay between now and the fresh start like I will start on Monday that is likely a sign you are trying to get away from something, resisting something and their is likely to be a whole load of food down the hatch in the meantime.

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If you want something to change you have to make the change happen. A fresh start, drawing a line, starting again often doesn't miracle the change. Just like New Year new me is all a load of bull unless you do it differently.

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​But what if I told you that there's another way?

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What if I told you that life and our relationship with food isn't about starting again, but rather about embracing the journey as one continuous flow? Think of it like a river, constantly flowing and evolving, rather than a series of stops and starts.

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By understanding the psychology behind this starting again mentality, you can start to break free from its grip. You can learn to embrace the journey, with all its twists and turns, successes and setbacks. Because let's face it, life isn't about perfection. It's about progress. And that's something we can all I hope get on board with, right?

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So what is the problem with start again mentality?

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As will all things it depends how this shows up for you. Maybe it is a problem maybe it's not, point is you get to explore this with loving curiousity and you get to decide. I would offer that you can use the Triple-A-Way here (Awareness, Action, Accountability) and start by gather awareness of what this means to you and of course if you want to know how you can do that check out the description box.

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But let's look at the side where it is impacting your relationship with food (and life) and how the 'start again' mentality could be impacting you.

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Let me know what resonates leave a #️⃣gem and then your takeaway.

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When you have the 'start again' mentality it can be about trying something new or start over when things don't go as planned. Starting something new is not necessarily a bad thing of course unless you are bouncing from one thing to the next and not really giving anything a chance. Likewise, having a reset when things go wrong is not necessarily bad unless like I said early you are not learning and end up in a shame spiral or you do it to try to erase away a perceived mistake because you think the mistake was quote unquote 'bad'

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So, here's an idea for how you can step into action. Instead of getting caught up in the cycle of starting again, focus on making small, sustainable changes that move you forward, one step at a time. Because in the end, it's not about how many times you start again, but how you keep moving forward, no matter what life throws your way.

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Look to learn from your experiences and to have a growth mindset. It is ok to fail, to make mistakes when you learn the power of failing forward.

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This is what I encourage the Wellness 4 Women Members and my 1 to 1 clients to do. To take small actions in the direction of travel to build momentum, ease and motivation.

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So how does that land for you?

Do you often find yourself saying you are going to start again? That you are drawing the line? 

Do you have a wagon that you think you are either one or off of?

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Do you find yourself bouncing from one thing to the next looking for quick fixes?

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Do you find yourself in Groundhog Day going round and round in a circle?

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Does it feel energetically good or do you feel like shit?

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The Language Of The Fresh Start

I want to touch now on the language of the fresh start to help you to identify if you are caught in the fresh start, new beginnings trap.

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The allure of a fresh start can be intoxicating, can't it?

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It's like hitting the reset button on life, a chance to wipe the slate clean and start afresh. And hey, who doesn't love a clean slate? It feels like a breath of fresh air, a chance to leave the past behind and step into a brighter future.

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The fresh start may offer temporary relief, but often doesn't address the underlying issues that led to you to hitting that reset button in the first place. It's like putting a band-aid on a wound without actually cleaning it first. Sure, it might cover it up for a while, but eventually, the infection will resurface.

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So, let me ask you this: why the need for the fresh start? What is it about your current situation that has you craving that clean slate? Is it because you've made mistakes and want to start over? Or is it because you're avoiding facing the truth?

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The truth is, the fresh start can be a slippery slope. It can lull us into a false sense of security, making us believe that we've forgiven ourselves for past mistakes when in reality, we've just swept them under the rug. And guess what? That rug can only hold so much before it starts to bulge at the seams.

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So, how do you know if you're caught in the fresh start trap? Well, here are a few signs to look out for:

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- You have a insta handle like 'backagain'; 'onitagain' or 'startingover'. Zero judgment, I have a Fitbit. It is buried in a draw somewhere at the moment as I got sick of charging it but my handle in there was something like 'backagain21' or equivilent followed by whatever year it happened to be. I thought it was clever, maybe even motivational. But truth be told, it was more of a downer than anything else.

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- You find yourself constantly saying you'll start again on Monday, without really understanding why.

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​- You draw lines in the sand, hoping that this time will be different, but deep down, you know it won't.

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- You bounce from one diet or wellness trend to the next, searching for the magic bullet that will solve all your problems.

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- You feel like you're stuck in a never-ending cycle of Groundhog Day, going round and round in circles without ever really making progress.

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​If any of this sounds familiar, you're not alone, this is not intended to come across as judgy I've certainly done it and fallen into the trap too.

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In fact I caught myself doing it today when I had a thought of 'fuck it, we'll draw the line Monday'. This is from someone who has spent time working on ditching this type of thought pattern but the difference may be I caught it, I am exploring it and I know I get to choose which voice I listen to. The diet thinking brain where I fuck it eat all weekend then 'start again' Monday or the food freedom brain which says, there is no drama here. I get to choose my relationship with food in any oven moment of the day and it doesn't have to start on Monday I can start right now.

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Taking Control of the Dial

Alright, folks, it's time to take the reins and dial things up a notch. We've talked about the psychology behind starting again, and we've explored the impact of language on our relationship with food in previous episodes.

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I want to introduce you to a concept I have been thinking about and one that can help you break the 'starting again' cycle so you can embrace a more balanced approach to wellness.

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I want to give you a tool that gives you full permission and put you in the drivers seat, where you should be, and taking full ownership of life, 'weight loss & everything in between.

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It is called the 'Dial Of Freedom'!

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Ok, they may be a bit more antiquated with us being used to using buttons and sliders on our tech but you can all picture one I know.

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This dial is yours to control. Imagine it having the numbers 1 to 10. If you are in the membership check your dashboard for this week's resource as I outline the tool in your resource to accompany this episode aptly called 'The Dial Of Freedom'

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I want to think of your life and 'weight loss' journey like a dial on a stereo. You are in control of the dials, and you can turn the dials just like you can on your favourite playlist. You can crank it up for those high-energy moments, or dial it down for some chill vibes.

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You have the same control when it comes to your wellness journey. You have the power of choice.

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Too often, we get caught up in this all-or-nothing mindset, where we're either on track or completely off the rails.

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But here's the truth: life is messy, and so is wellness.

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Sustainability does not lie in perfection it lies in seeking to make progress. It lies in seeking to stay in action. And to make that as easy as possible on us so we can find more joy and in turn keep up motivation and momentum, that means being able to embrace the ebb and flow of life, dialling things up when we're feeling motivated and dialling them down when we need a breather or deliberately cracking it to raise the vibe.

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So, how do we take control of the dial?

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It starts with self-awareness of course it does it is the first A in the Triple-A-Way™️ for a reason.

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Pay attention to how you're feeling, both physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically all the things about what you are currently working on?

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Where are you on the dial right now?

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So for example, I would say my dial has been at about a 2 or a 3 for weight loss for a while. This I will be honest has led to me gaining some 'physical weight'. I say 'physical weight' because I want to make a distinction here.

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Just because I have gained some physical weight does not have to mean a bad thing. I am not bad, I am not a failure, I have not fallen off the wagon and that makes a huge difference to my mental and emotional weight. I know that I can choose to turn up that dial whenever I want to. It just happens that other dials arrived and they took over.

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I had competing priorities and in this case the 'weight loss' dial went down.

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​If I want to aim for more balance it may be that I chose to crank up that 'weight loss' dial but may need to turn down the dial to something else.

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​For me ironically it has been working on my business, this podcast etc that has taken over. I want to help people with the very thing I turned the dial down on but I know how and why the dial went down and as I said I can change the dial at any given time, if I choose.

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One thing I will look to work hard on not doing is kicking myself in the butt and making myself feel like shit over it. That is the old diet ways, the way of the fresh start, the way of new beginnings. I have lesions I need to learn from this recent period and if I don't learn them and just do a fresh start they will persist or reoccur. I had to go through this to learn a lesson because we are either winning or learning as there is no such thing has failure in my book any more.

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So, here's the takeaway: identify the dials you have on your life. Cliched as it may be, embrace the journey, and remember that wellness and healing and changing our relationship is not a destination, but a continuous evolution. A series of twists and turns on the dials of your life.

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Whether you're cranking it up to eleven or dialling it down to a whisper, know that you have the power to create a life that feels good from the inside out.

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Wrapping Up

So wrapping up, what a journey we've been on today!

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We've explored the psychology behind starting again, delved into the impact of language on our relationship with food, and learned how to take control of the dial in our wellness journey.

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Your journey doesn't end here. Likewise, it is not just the beginning. We continue writing the book of our life.

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Every day is an opportunity to grow, to learn, and to become the best version of ourselves.

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You are capable, you are worthy, and you are enough, just as you are and you get to chose, leave the dials alone with a big sign saying don't touch or fiddle with them knobs and design the sound you want.

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I want to leave you with some growth work.

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If you are in the membership grab the resource. not in the membership check out the description box and take a look at the support you can get.

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Regardless, take a moment to reflect on your own wellness journey.

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Where are you dials at?

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What's one small step you can take today to dial it up or dial it down, depending on what your mind, body and soul need?

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There are no rights or wrongs it is just and exploration with love and curiosity.

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Right that is it folks, see you next week.