Ep 88 - Entitlement Eating Exposed

Faye Casement Author

Apr 21, 2024 |

Hello hello hello and welcome to episode number 88 of the Wellness 4 Women Show. What I am covering today is sometimes a glaringly obvious wah wah wah (alarm sound) moment or it can also be a sneaky cheeky little number that you don't even know you're doing it... entitlement eating.

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You will have all had moments nay probably many many moments where you have taken yourself off for a little peak in the fridge or cupboard or reached for a glass of wine after a busy day, to celebrate a success, to ceremonially welcome in the weekend or after an emotional rollercoaster.

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You may get those obvious wah wah wah (alarm sound) thoughts pinging off in your head of 'I deserve this' or 'I've had a rough day, I need this.' Or maybe you are dealing with deserving by stealth which I will talk about later.

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Today, I'm shining a light on this sneaky saboteur and we are going to take a lovingly curious look at how it manifests, how you can recognise it, and the next steps you can take in order to overcome this and reclaim a relationship with food that enhances your well-being and if you are actively working on it 'weight loss'

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So, let's dive in and put together some puzzle pieces together for your life, well-being, and weight loss.

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What Is Entitlement Eating?

I am just realising that I need to add 'entitlement' to my E's of eating I think I am up to 7 now though this technically fits in the emotional eating category. So maybe I need subcategories.

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What I share with you now is of course my definition of entitlement eating but you can at the end of the day make your own as this is what the Triple-A-Way™️ is all about figuring out and super sleuthing what happens in your life and 'weight loss' but I am here to act as your guide and companion on the journey.

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Entitlement eating is justifying the eating of food as a reward maybe as a result of a coping mechanism for your emotions, stressors, or other pressures. It's that inner voice telling you that you deserve an extra slice of cake because you had a tough day or that you earned a glass of wine as it's the weekend.

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It's often mindless consumption the intent of it to bring you some kind of relief. Relief from a bad day, relief from an argument, reward for a job well done. It can be used to distract you from your feelings or with the intent of making you feel better.

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It's a common pattern that many of us fall into without even realising it, patterns and habits we have formed over the years some of which start from our earlier years. Maybe you were rewarded with food for doing your homework, told that if you ate your dinner you got the pudding or maybe you were told you could have an ice cream on the way home if you were good at grannies. These patterns of using consumption as a form of reward or comfort can become deeply ingrained within us.

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As we grow older, these habits may continue to manifest in different ways. We can still reach for the sweets or snacks around mid-afternoon, we might find solace in a glass of wine or beer after a long day. It becomes an automatic response, our go-to solution when faced with stress or negative emotions.

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As a society weekends have been put on a pedestal a time when we can let loose and shake off the working week, when we can go ham on booze and food for fun to reward ourselves after a busy week.

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There are ultimately countless influences that could be feeling your desire to indulge in food as a reward when you're not truly hungry.

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Now don't get me wrong here. Enjoying our food, desiring food and having food as a celebration is not wrong. Food should be enjoyable, it should be savoured.

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But food just like alcohol and other substances if used excessively as a coping mechanism or as a reward is what we are looking to check in on. Is the way you are showing up around food. Helping you are hindering you?

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Are you using food or alcohol as a reward or for relief at a level that is mindful and in moderation? Or are you unconsciously filling voids through these habits instead of addressing any underlying issues?

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I have certainly been there. Done a hard task.. deserve a coffee. Cleaning the house top to bottom deserves a Chinese. I used to have glasses of wine with a mum friend after work after juggling work and motherhood, fun but it tipped a balance too far at times.

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Remember there is no right or wrong here it is just about getting all the jigsaw pieces out on the table and seeing how they fit together.

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Are you happy with the picture it is forming or do you want to change it?

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Recognising the Signs

I am going to assume you want to change it out. If you are working on 'weight loss' especially and changing your relationship with food your aim is not to be perfect as I covered last week but to work on making as many shifts in your direction of choice as possible to tip you from where you are now to where you want to be.

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It is about tidying up the edges, getting to know what you do, why you do it and deciding do you want to keep it.

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It is about taking the autopilot off so that your subconscious is not running the show and getting the front part of your brain kicked into action which is where your active thinking takes place.

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Being intentional thought involves awareness. You can't decide to change something if you don't know it is happening so how do you recognise the signs that you are about to, are or have been entitlement eating?

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Let's go for the sublimely obvious to start with the wah wah wah (alarm sounding) can't miss them obvious signs.

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Can you guess what it is?

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I'll give you a second maybe write it in the chat.

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It's dead simple you might even kick yourself.

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You have them all day every day.

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Have you guessed it?

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Yep, it's your thoughts!

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Let's imagine you've just walked in the door after a busy day. You're thinking things like 'wow, what a mad day', 'I'm knackered', 'I wish it was Friday', 'I'm sick of work'. Your partner says how was your day dear and you go off on a rant about Marjorie in accounts and Nigel in dispatch. Then the next thought 'I need a glass of wine'; 'I deserve a takeout tonight after the day I've had' or maybe you've eating tea and thinking 'I've had a shit day I don't need to think about weight loss as well' snaffle snaffle snaffle.

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These are all big wah wah wah alarm bells that you're about to have or are having some entitlement eating.

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Some of these thoughts can be super loud. Blaring away like a fog horn in your head but some can be a bit subtler to catch or and I was talking to a client about this last week the action can be delayed but I will cover more about this in a moment.

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But this is why knowing your mind, how it ticks and listening to it is one of the key factors for changing your relationship with food.

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Your brain at the end of the day is inadvertently leading you to sabotage. Not because it wants to or has it in for you, hell a lot of this is happening on autopilot but it is what your brain currently knows to do when the shit hits the fan. It is your well-worn grove, your tried and tested old faithful path to 'happier' and it is going to send you that way as you have taught it any differently yet. remember it is your brain's job to keep you safe and happy and in status quo. Whatever has disrupted you in your day, the busy day at work, the argument, the fact you are not feeling well it has 1 job and 1 job alone to make you safe and happy. The problem is in that moment, in its moment of desperation it sends you on a path that is out of sync with what you want your relationship with food to be like.

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So how else can you tell some entitlement eating is about to go down or is going down?

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I'll pause again...

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Let you put comments in the chat.

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Your next set of alarm bells are your feelings. What is your body trying to tell you? A feeling is a vibration a sensation in your body so are you listening?

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Maybe you are feeling scattered, maybe you can tell you are feeling notably stressed or upset. Maybe you are angry, sad, wanting etc.

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This is where awareness of body and minds start to mix and come into play.

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You again will have some glaringly obvious moments. The big wah wah wah alarm bells. Feeling super stressed at work and grabbing a pack of doughnuts and rage eating them is obvious but often it is not always that obvious.

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The thing with our thoughts/feelings is they get trapped. Some of them can get stuck of years which forms our beliefs which is what we work on in Belief Coding®️ but generally, they can get trapped throughout the day and week too.

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So let's say you have a busy day. Whilst at work you are feeling stressed. You can feel pressure in your chest, the stiffness of your shoulders, and your being a bit snappy and cranky. These are all signs you are carrying your thoughts and emotions in your body but you carry on with your day. You don't have time to be stressed remember you are too busy! You hold it in. You want to cry but you don't have time. A headache starts to form. You just want to lie down and the day to be over. You are already dreading the next. It's 17:00 ding ding ding the day is over thank crunchy you are freeeee. You think to yourself 'What a day', you can't wait to get home. That glass of wine will go down well tonight. maybe I'll have 2 as it has been particularly busy. What you don't realise is that you are priming your brain at that moment. Those relatively innocent thoughts that help you to compartmentalise your day are all getting stored in the supercomputer up top.

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You get in the car and start your commute. Maybe you pop on the radio blast out a few tunes, maybe stick on your favourite life & weight loss podcast wink wink and start to feel your shoulders gradually dropping.

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By the time you get home, you are feeling a little but more human, less fraught. Still a bit tense maybe, still have the headache but you are feeling a bit of relief for being home. Now maybe you either head into your own night routine at this point or maybe you still have some more adulting to do in terms of housework or kids to look after which is stretching out the day all of which may lead to more storing of thoughts and emotions that you have to hold on to as you don't have time to lose your shit but also by now you have kind of almost forgotten the day at work cognitively you are on to thinking about the next thing but the problem is your subconscious hasn't. At the back of your head, there is a little girl having a full-on meltdown but she's been put on mute. But she is still there tugging away at your thoughts and feelings in the background leading to perhaps a general feeling of dis-ease but nothing like what you had when you were at work so you aren't really thinking anything of it.

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But she is still there and so when it comes to heading towards food standing in front of the refrigerator, or cooking the evening meal or eating the evening meals she is still screaming help me send doughnuts!

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It's these lower level subtler built-up moments that are really the ones to watch as they happen more than you might notice/think.

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So before you head towards the cupboards or fridge, before you sit down to undertake the action of eating or drinking really try to create a pause. It doesn't have to be long and just acknowledge what has happened in your day or even week, what have you been thinking and feeling. What are you thinking or feeling now and is there a little girl at the back pulling at your strings leading you to entitlement eating.

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So.. can you think of any other ways you may know you are about to or are entitlement eating?

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Clue if you are in the membership or listened to previous episodes think here about what you know from mind nijary?

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Your actions!

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Remember your thoughts lead to emotions, lead to actions lead to results.

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Your actions are going to give you a sign too if you have not caught your thoughts and feelings.

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Do you have a doughnut hanging out your mouth and an empty 4 pack wrapper at your feet? Has the wine bottle suspiciously got less than a glass missing? Have you been picking whilst cooking dinner? Hoovering out the fridge whilst standing there deciding what to cook? These could all be signs.

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I have done all of these too but it's about taking a loving and honest look at your life and food.

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Have you piled your plate high with food, regardless of whether you're actually hungry or not? The thought of scaling back and practising moderation doesn't even cross your mind as you're so consumed with it all.

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Are you eating as an automatic response absentmindedly munching on snacks without any real hunger cues to try and escape the feelings?

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Are your other actions outside of food and the original stresses showing signs all is not well? Are you feeling really physically drained, have you had a tiff with your partner, snapped at the kids, kicked the recycling when a box wouldn't fit in properly?

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Might have done a few of these too.

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The ultimate place this will show though is in your results, are you where you want to be and so the cycle continues?

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Breaking The Entitlement Trap

So how do you break out of the entitlement trap?

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There are so many ways you can try. If you are a member grab this week's resource, and reach out for coaching in group. If you are not a member you know where we are the link is in the description we'd love to help you put your unique life & weight loss puzzle together.

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The key here is the Triple-A-Way method... of course it is.

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Figure out what is going on by getting awareness I have focused on this today, then figure out what actions you can take, could be journalling, mindful stress release, body scans, pauses, yoga, music, scream therapy whatever works for you there are no right or wrongs then keep plugging away in your chosen direction as much as you can do. Simples.

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I get it though it is not simple, life is not simple we are complex human beings and there are a lot of moving pieces but you can figure this out and if you need more I am happy to help.

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Wrapping up

So as I wrap up the show. It is natural for us to experience cravings and desires, especially when it comes to wanting to eat. As humans, we have a sense of entitlement that often leads us to seek out what we desire without much thought. However, it is important for us to approach these situations with loving curiosity.

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Instead of immediately satisfying our every craving or feeling entitled to indulge in whatever we want, if you want to work on your relationship with food take a moment to assess the situation. Ask yourselves whether this behaviour is supporting your overall well-being or hindering it physically, mentally, and emotionally. Do you need something different? Do you want to change? If so how can you take a baby step today?

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Remember that there are no absolute right or wrong answers here. Each individual's needs and circumstances differ from one another.

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Members head to your portal and grab this week's complimentary resource that will help you look more at whether entitlement eating could be showing up for you and the steps you can overcome it. Not yet a member or 1 to 1 client. 

Check out the below.

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