Ep 74 Taking Complete Ownership For Your Life & 'Weight Loss' Journey With Love

Faye Casement Author

Sep 14, 2023 |

Hello hello hello and welcome to episode number 74 of the Wellness 4 Women Show. This week's episode is all about ownership as I talk you through how you can go from Awareness to Action to take complete ownership of your life & ‘weight loss’.



You know sometimes I like to start with a question. If you are watching on video leave your answer in the comments or in either the Free Facebook Group or Membership. Notice what comes up with curiosity and love.



Do you feel like you take ownership of your life & weight loss?



Notice any thoughts, judgment or resistance that come up. Write it all down, in fact why not journal on it? whether you think you are, aren’t or not sure?



I then want you to challenge yourself with love and check in for what is and is not true and kind especially if judgement is coming up.



Ownership is an interesting topic. As coaches, we learn that true transformation begins with taking ownership of our lives. We always have the power to make choices and decisions that will lead us towards the life we desire and therefore we are the ones who are truly in control no matter what we sometimes might think and feel.



But the majority of us don't do this. We don't take full and complete ownership of our lives. We blame circumstances outside of us, we blame other people, and make excuses as to why our life & 'weight loss' is not where we want it to be. In doing so we hold ourselves back and in some cases create more life & diet drama!



Feeling called out yet? Feeling seen? I know I am.



The thing is this is all normal, it is what we humans do.



Our brains search for external factors to blame when things don't go our way. It's easier to point fingers at circumstances, and other people, rather than to take responsibility for our own choices and actions. But in doing so we relinquish control over our lives and ultimately if we are not careful, continue to allow outside forces to dictate our path.



But here's the reality check: We alone have the power within us to change and shape our lives according to our desires. [mic drop]



"We alone have the power to change and shape our lives."



Taking complete, total and unfettered ownership of ourselves means acknowledging that we and we alone are responsible for our thoughts, emotions and actions.



It's not about blaming others, or circumstances happening around us or making excuses for why things aren't going the way we want them to. Instead, we accept where we are right now and commit to making positive changes no matter what.



This is what the Triple-A-Way Life & 'Weight Loss' Method is all about, helping you to gather awareness, step into action and get shit done so you can build your life & 'weight loss' your way and design the life you want to live.



So in today's show, we are going to look at what taking complete and utter ownership of life & weight loss would look like and of course all with love.

Defining Ownership with Love

We live in a world that emphasises strict diets, rapid results, and glorifies external standards, appearance and beauty. But if you are listening to this show you want to move away from this. You want a different kind of journey a more empowering, a more loving and more uplifting journey. One where you get to own and create your our path. Your own plan that you can design to fit your own unique life just how you want to.



To do this you have to make choices, choices that create progress, choices that drive you with love towards your goals and dreams. Choices that feel damn good as they have generous doses of love and compassion.



So, what exactly do I mean when I say "Ownership with Love"?



Taking ownership with love is about stepping into your power, embracing the decisions you make, and recognising the role you play in your own transformation.



Dieting and being stuck in the diet cycle can have you gripping onto the reins of your plan for dear life. Knuckling and battling your way through. It can be very black and white, you are either doing it or you are not and the emotional rollercoaster can be brutal. The focus always being on sticking to the 'diet' no matter what is going on with you in life and not looking beyond holistically at your whole being.



Whereas your 'weight loss' with love journey; it's about holding the reigns gently, with a heart full of understanding and kindness. It is about looking at the whole of you, looking at how you tick, what works well for you, what doesn't, why and what you can change.



But here's the beautiful twist: Ownership with love is about letting go of judgment or perfection. It's about acknowledging that each step, each choice, is an opportunity for growth. It's about releasing the heavy burden of self-criticism and replacing it with the liberating embrace of self-love.



Think of it this way: Rather than being someone who rules over their life and 'weight loss' like a strict school headmistress continually judging yourself and your progress. You can learn to become your most dearest friend and guide through your journey. If you were guiding a friend, you wouldn't berate them for every misstep or compare them to others, would you? You'd offer a listening ear, words of encouragement, and a shoulder to lean on when times get tough. That's the essence of ownership with love. You extend the same care to yourself as you would your best friend and look out for what is best in the end for your greater good.



You are not going to add more rules to your list or more guilt to your load. You are going to drop the drama, and drop the guilt. Instead, it is about learning how to create a safe space where you can explore your choices fully without fear.



A space where you can recognise that taking ownership of your life and 'weight loss' is a dynamic process, not a fixed destination. It's a journey where every choice is a step forward, regardless of the outcome. Because you are either living the dream or learning to live the dream but either way you are moving forward.



I can't begin to tell you what releasing the reins of judgment and diet drama has done for me. It can still be there but nowhere near what it used to be. I used to be so hard on myself. Nothing was ever good enough, I was not good enough. The shame and guilt over what I had said, done, and eaten used to be a heavy burden to carry. I didn't know any different though, I didn't know there was a different way and I carried it for decades and I want to help you to loosen off the reins and find more joy in the process. I want to help you heal your relationship with food, with yourself, life whatever it is you personally need to work on I can help. This is my purpose and passion. It is what I want to offer to the world.



This podcast, the membership, my coaching and Belief Coding®️ is me taking ownership over what I want to do with my life, who I want to be and how I want to show up in the world and I own it. There are as with anything 'good' days and 'bad' days as a business owner, just like there are in my 'weight loss' journey but I navigate through them and fully embrace that I and I alone am responsible for creating my dreams.



What would your dream look like?

I ran a free workshop recently called 'Unlock Your Future Self'. It is a powerful workshop that I will be running again for sure. The workshop can help you to unlock your dreams, unlock what you want your future to look like. The first part of taking ownership and the first A of the Triple-A-Way™️ is Awareness. Where are you now? and where do you want to be?



If you want to know when the next workshop is running you want to be on my mailing list or in the membership, so check the description box and sign up today.



The feedback I have had from The Future You Sessions I have run so far has been amazing. The ladies have left the workshop with a clear vision of what they want to achieve and how they can start to work on that. They are then able to step straight into action.



How would you feel if you:

💎 Had clarity on who you wanted to be?
💎 On how you could start to become that person?
💎 If you could really see her and connect with that person if you need support and guidance?


The ladies who have attended, reported feeling more motivated, and clearer, started wearing different clothes, started eating different foods, and started to move with love. Making decisions and taking action. So taking ownership of their journey.



So powerful!

Busting The Myth Of Self-Compassion

So you might be thinking, why with love? Surely I need to be tough and do the hard thing if I am to take ownership.



I have certainly coached a number of people who have said to me that they do not feel they can get motivated unless they are worried and fearful. That they need this to get going.



I get it, this is how change starts. A desire to be different to not want to be the same. When working on 'weight loss' this often comes from the negative, we may want to have a smaller body, look different in our clothes, worry about our health, hate feeling frumpy, want to be more intimate with partners, feel less doubt, fear and overwhelm, and be able to go out and do things that we currently don't feel like we can do, such as play with the kids, do physical activities etc for fear of not being able to do it or being judged.



But



If we keep going with the fear thoughts, thinking we have to because our lives are so terrible then those thoughts are what get stuck on a loop. So rather than taking ownership, it is more likely we are trying to beat ourselves into submission and that does not feel nice and it not ownership but self-punishment. Instead, let's shift our perspective and focus on taking ownership of our health and well-being.



Taking ownership means acknowledging that we have the power to make changes in our lives. It starts with accepting where we currently are without judgment or self-blame. We can choose to be kinder to ourselves, recognising that we are doing the best we can with what we know at any given moment.



I have heard a number of coaches who try to give what they would call tough love, but are they really just barking orders, telling people how to live their lives? Do you feel genuinely motivated by this? You may do to start but how does it feel after a while of hearing the tough love over and over? In my experience, it starts to get you down. You start to feel judged and less than?



It doesn't have to be that way. We don't have to operate from fear or to force ourselves kicking and screaming.



Anything that creates a negative emotion, such as, fear, restriction, or judgement is likely to eventually lead to you running away.



Our brains are hard-wired to run away from pain and towards pleasure.



Now think about love.



Love is powerful too. We will often do anything for the things, people, and activities we love



Self-compassion and love, aren't about ignoring your goals or letting yourself off the hook to the point where you feel unmotivated and don't act.



It is about still doing the thing but also recognising and working with your humanness, your inherent imperfections, and extending a hand of empathy to yourself when the going gets tough. It's about embracing the truth that everyone stumbles, and those stumbles are opportunities for growth, not reasons for being self-critical leading to you feeling shit and sabotaging.



Ownership with love at its core and self-compassion is a gentle yet powerful force that can transform how you navigate your life and 'weight loss' journey.





Think about it: When you find yourself in a challenging moment, if you turn to judgment, loathing and self-criticism how do you feel? You feel awful right? If you give yourself a tough talking to and tell yourself to pull yourself together and you have to do this? Sure you may feel motivated and get the thing done but it can feel icky. It feels icky because it does not feel good.



Whereas if you give yourself a kind word of encouragement it's more like a warm embrace. Just as you'd want to uplift those you care about, you deserve the same nurturing support. Self-compassion shifts your internal dialogue from a critical judge to a caring ally, fostering an environment where ownership becomes a journey of self-discovery rather than a battleground of self-doubt.





Self-compassion doesn't just make the journey more bearable; it's actually proven to boost motivation, resilience, and overall well-being and is commonly used in positive psychology. When you treat yourself with kindness, you're more likely to make choices aligned with your values, not just your immediate desires and that is where the magic really can help when working on 'weight loss' especially as we can have a tendency to bounce from desire to desire.



So, as you move forward in your life and 'weight loss', remember that self-compassion isn't an indulgence; it's a necessity. It's not about giving up on your goals; excusing and allowing, it's about honoring yourself throughout the process. It's about giving yourself permission to learn, adapt, and grow without the heavy burden of self-judgment.





In the moments when you feel challenged, pause and ask yourself: "What would I say to a friend in this situation?". Be your own biggest cheerleader, your source of encouragement, and your steadfast companion on this journey. Finding this hard? Reach out for support so we can navigate the winding roads of growth and transformation together because the journey is worth it.

Shifting from Blame to Empowerment

One of the most significant shifts you can make to allow you to take full ownership with love is transitioning from a mindset of blame to one of empowerment. This shift isn't just about changing your perspective; it's about altering the very landscape of your 'weight loss' journey, infusing it with self-love, compassion, and, taking that full ownership.





Blame is a heavy burden to carry. When you blame yourself for not meeting certain expectations or falling short of goals, it's like lugging around a backpack filled with heavy stones. Written on each one some kind of self-criticism and regret.



But what if we could empty that backpack and fill it with something light and transformative instead?





What if you could fill your backpack with some gems of empowerment or some bubbles of joy? Imagine carrying a weightless backpack that uplifts and supports you on your journey towards healthier living.



In fact.. let's do an exercise right now if it is safe for you to do so.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself with a rucksack on.

Place into the backpack the stones you throw at yourself on a day-to-day basis.

Each one written on a self-judgement or something mean you say about yourself.

Feel how the rucksack gets heavier and heavier the more you say the mean things and how it starts to weigh you down and you feel heavy.



Now we are going to flip it.



You get to decide what goes in your ruck-sack you have ownership of it. You get to decide how it feels. The ultimate power rests within you. While you can't control everything that happens, you can control how you respond and the choices you make moving forward. Ownership, self-love, and compassion intertwine beautifully.

So going back to your rucksack full of stones.

Start to imagine, the stones starting to morph and change.

Start to see the stones turning to bubbles, the mean words you said, start to turn to positives. You are flipping the scripts on the stones. Saying nice things about yourself. Giving yourself words of encouragement instead.

You start to feel light and airy.

You can pop them if you like too to get rid of them.

Taking deep breaths and seeing the heavy stone turn to bubble and float away or pop out of existence.

You start to feel lighter.

You start to feel happier.

You feel amazing.



How did that feel to you?



How different did the light bubbles feel compared to the heavy stones?



How different would life feel if you could carry more bubbles than stones?



We have all had those moments where we didn't meet our own expectations in our 'weight loss' journeys. We thought the scales were going to show a better result. We went knee-deep in biscuits as we were stressed after a busy day at work. We didn't do the cardio we said we were going to.



There will be a reason for this but often we look outside of ourselves when the answer is always inside.



The blame game might typically lead to thoughts like, 'I failed,' or 'I'm not strong enough', 'I will never lose weight', 'I am useless' and 'I should have gone to the gym'.



But with ownership and self-compassion at the forefront, you can reshape that narrative. Instead of dwelling in self-critique, you can ask, "What can I learn from this experience? How can I empower myself to move forward?"





Ownership means acknowledging that, yes, you might face setbacks, but those setbacks are not the sum of who you are. They're stepping stones, teaching you valuable lessons along the way. And those lessons are where the seeds of empowerment are sown.





When you shift from blame to empowerment, you're essentially saying, "I am in charge of my journey. I am responsible for my actions, and I have the power to make positive changes." This declaration is ownership. It's not about denying responsibility; it's about accepting it with open arms. encouraging yourself with kindness and a heart full of compassion if it goes tit's up so you can move on quickly.



So how do you take complete ownership?

How can you use the Triple-A-Way™️ method to take your life and 'weight loss' by the reigns and ride it to your success, especially when it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of activities, obligations, and goals.

Cultivating Mindful Awareness

The starting point is always awareness. You can't change anything if you are going around with your head buried in the sand. If you are a member going through the daily doables, using the tools in the membership, the accountability group and coaching means your head will be out of the sand.



The job of me as your coach when you need it is to ask you questions to help you gather awareness about where you are, where you want to be and help you figure out how you are going to get there. As a mentor, I may offer suggestions and guide you to resources.



Maybe you are one of my 1 to 1 or Belief Coding®️ clients we work on doing the same, we get all the pieces out on the table the internal and external and work on changing and healing and releasing old stuck beliefs, thoughts and emotions that are holding you back from taking action.



As you go about your day when you are on a 'weight loss' with love journey it is about approaching the day with mindful awareness.



Being mindfully aware is a transformative practice that can ground you, centre you, and help you fully embrace the concept of taking ownership in a compassionate way.



Mindful awareness is about bringing your attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and without judgment. It's about becoming an observer of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations, without getting entangled in them. Like a flashlight, your path can then become illuminated. The path of ownership: revealing the choices and actions that most align with your intentions and values.



When it comes to weight loss, mindful awareness acts as your guiding compass. It encourages you to pause and connect with your body, your emotions, and your surroundings. By practising mindful eating, for instance, you can tune into your body's hunger and fullness cues, savour the taste of each bite, and make conscious choices that honour your well-being.





Mindful awareness is also a powerful tool for self-reflection. It helps you recognise patterns of behaviour, identify triggers, and understand why certain choices are made. By observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you create a space to explore your relationship with food, exercise, and self-care.



As you cultivate and work on this mindful awareness, you will still encounter moments of resistance, distraction, or self-criticism. That's okay. It's all part of the process. But you rinse and repeat using the same gentle understanding you would extend to a friend. Acknowledge any challenges without judgment and gently guide your attention back to the present.

Wrapping Up

Right folks, time to wrap up. Remember, to take ownership of your journey. You are the captain of your own ship, the filler of your backpack and the one with all the power to make the changes you desire.

It is not about perfection; it's about progress. It's about becoming a curious and compassionate observer of your experiences, allowing you to make informed choices that stem from a place of self-love and ownership and then stepping into action and getting it done with love and compassion.

Ownership with love is an ongoing journey, one that evolves as you do.



So, as you embark on this path, remember that you are worthy of every step you take, and you have the capacity to create positive change with every choice you make.



If this episode has resonated with you and you're eager to explore ownership with love further and take this show deeper I invite you to connect with me. You don't have to navigate this journey alone.



The membership or any of my 1 to 1 coaching programs, the Triple-A-Way™️ Life & Food Freedom Method, is designed to provide you with the tools, support, and guidance you need to embrace ownership with love in your 'weight loss journey' and beyond.



Reach out to me on social media, subscribe to the podcast and YouTube show, and stay tuned for more discussions that will help empower you to transform your relationship with food, 'weight loss', self-love, and personal growth.

Members you will have a couple of resources to download by the end of the weekend the backpack visualisation and some journal prompts on ownership. Want to become a member hit the link below.

This week's bonus member resources (coming soon):

- The Visualisation From The Podcast

- Journal Prompts

Members <<<Click Here>>>

Not a member and want this resource get instant access 👇