Ep: #62 Giving Yourself The Gift Of Positive Decision Making

Giving Yourself The Gift Of Positive Decision-Making

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Hello Hello Hello and welcome to episode number 62 of the Wellness 4 Women Show

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Today I want to cover 'Giving Yourself The Gift Of Positive Decision Making'.

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At its core life, ‘weight loss’ and everything in between is just a series of micro decisions. ​

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Some decisions you make will serve you and some not so.

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Working on your decision-making in life and 'weight loss' is a key component for achieving lasting success and finding more joy.

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Making positive decisions for, life, 'weight loss' or anything in between requires self-awareness, action and accountability and all the things the Triple-A-Way™️ is about but more importantly love.

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Today we are going to dive into this. ​

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As we go along, let me know what your take aways are from this episode in the free Facebook group or if you are a member the Members support group? Leave a #gem plus your comment. ​ Likewise got a question the groups are the place to be for community and support check the description.

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Check the link in the description for how you can work with me.

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So what is...

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The Importance of Decision-Making in Weight Loss

Just have a think right now... how many decisions have you made today? ​ How many did you make yesterday? ​ How many have you made this week?

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A lot right?

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We are making decisions all day every day. ​

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Sometimes very consciously but the majority will be on autopilot.

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These may be relatively day-to-day like what to watch on the TV, or what to wear.

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They could be food and well-being related, such as, what to have for dinner or whether to give in to the urge or not.

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Maybe they are a little bit more involved like how to handle a situation at work or in a relationship.

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Or maybe big life decisions like career changes, starting a family, moving homes

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etc.

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Now its your turn, either comment in the chat if you are watching on video or note it on a piece of paper if you are on the Podcast, scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best how would you rate your decision-making skills? ​ We'll come back to this later.

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Touching on 'Weight Loss' to be successful at 'losing weight' you have to make decisions. ​

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As I said at the start at its core life and 'Weight Loss' is just about making a set of consecutive decisions that serve the purpose of 'weight loss' or if well-being, fitness, or wellness is your goal it is the same.

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It is about making decisions, acting and do it again rinsing and repeating the best you can.

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It has been a while since I talked about my action model the 5 D's. ​ If you are Backstage Pass Member this is in your 'Super Sleuthing Your Way To Weight Loss' Lesson. ​ The 5 D's are Decide, Do (able), Discover, Deal and Do Again.

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But what if you get stuck in the decide? ​

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This can happen.

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You can get stuck in any part of the action cycle and again this is where awareness comes in so you can then super sleuth your way out of it with love and curiosity.

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So why can it seem so hard to make a decision?

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I know I have had many a time where 'weight loss' decisions seemed hard. ​ The daily issue for example of 'what to have for dinner!' has been known to stress me right out.

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When I was 'dieting' I used to get stressed worrying about calories or points or was it was off plan or on plan blah blah the list goes on.

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With food freedom this kind of drama has really reduced. ​ Thank gawd. ​ As I have rebuilt my relationship with food, myself and ‘weight loss. ​ But I can still get some decision fatigue. ​

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This episode is a chance to check in to see if your decision-making is knocking into your ‘weight loss’ or well-being.

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I would argue for example, daily decision fatigue is one of the biggest contributors to stress and overwhelm which can then lead to overeating dinners and evening snacking as we crave relief from the day.

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If you have a big decision to make, this can lead to distraction, overwhelm and panic and your brain may through up more cravings, urges and fuck it thoughts as it does not like the discomfort you are feeling.

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So let's break these down a little more.

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Ditching Daily Drama and Decision Fatigue.

Decision fatigue is the experience of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion that can be caused by having to made 'too many' decisions in the day.

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Hands up in the chat if you have got to the end of your day exhausted from being on the go, doing all the things, working hard, being pulled from pillar to post by work, family and other life stressors?

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It's totally normal I would just like to add to get decision fatigue and to have thoughts and feelings about all the decisions you have made that day or anticipation for the ones you need to make.

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I have certainly felt the burn of feeling mentally and physically exhausted after a day of 'busy' and juggling the busy balls as well as having to concentrate on important things etc.

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I then have had many overeats as a result of this fatigue but it was through these and learning how to fail forward I was able to start to make changes and to start to take the heat out of the kitchen as it were to Tackle the decision fatigue so that I was not triggered to eat and thus in turn reduce the impact to my 'weight loss'. ​ ​ I had to and still work on figuring out how I can make loving decisions that serve me so I can make my choices easier and to reduce the amount of decision fatigue at the end of a day.

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One of the ways I do this is to work on making decisions ahead of time and to create pivot points. ​ I encourage the use of a planner for this and Backstage Members have access to the Triple-A-Way Planner™️.

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By setting realistic intentions for myself ahead of time I take out the decision fatigue. ​ I make the decision once and aim to stick to it.

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I make those decisions realistic and I have pivot points because life happens. ​ This is why life and weight loss go together and why you have to work on both.

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There is no point having a food plan given to you that you can’t stick to or do not want to. ​ You have to build your own around what you love and what you want to achieve that you can actually do. ​

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You have to get yourself bought into the process and into your plans.

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There are many ways in which you can do this. ​ Process goal setting, belief work, why work, future you all of which we can dive into.

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Your Relationship With Decision Making

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Earlier I asked you how you would rate your decision-making skills what number came up? ​ What was your first thought? ​

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You will have beliefs around decision-making just like anything else you do. ​ These beliefs feed your thoughts and feelings, leading to your actions/inactions.

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What do you think and say when you have to make decisions?

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Maybe you say things like:

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'I can't make a decision for Toffees'

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'I can't face thinking about that right now'

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'I can't make decisions to save my life'

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'Decision making is hard'

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'I hate having to make decisons'

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Maybe its all good and you are more of a nope 'I make decisions like a boss, I'm good'.

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Whatever it is observe with loving curiosity what comes up.

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These are an insight into your beliefs.

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Your beliefs shape your reality so if you think you can't make decisions for toffees then you will live out that reality because that is what you are telling yourself.

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So you may want to think about shifting that belief.

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Change the story, change the narrative you can change your life.

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For me I'd say my current awareness makes me think I am a bit of a mix.

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I can make snap decisions about food, shopping and the things I really want but can procrastinate and deliberate on big decisions and if my perfectionist tendencies rear their head. ​

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This is important to know.

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This is awareness at its best.

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Knowing and lovingly observing how I tick means I can work on my triggers. ​ I can identify more readily what is getting in the way of where I want to be. ​ In doing so I can step into action, whether that be a practical decision, asking a friend, self-coaching, getting coached or a Belief Coding®️ facilitation. ​ I then just have to get that shit done and be accountable to myself or others.

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Making Big Decisions

From time to time in life. ​ We will have cause to make bigger life-changing decisions, such as, career changes, house moves and relationship changes.

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These decisions can be big because we may have to let go of things that no longer serve us, people or places that are familiar. ​ We may have to say goodbye to the known world in order to embrace a new one. ​

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This can cause a lot of anticipatory stress about making that decision, you then may have the stress of going through with the decision.

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This stress can then manifest in your body and lead to ailments and health concerns and it can certainly impact into your well-being and weight loss.

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Have you got a big change coming up in your life?

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How are you feeling about it?

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How do you feel about making the decisions?

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What are your worries?

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Are you feeling resisted to making the decision or the change?

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These are things to work on. ​

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The sooner your work on them and through them the better you will feel as it is often the constant deliberation or flip-flopping as one of my members calls it that can be so frustrating as it leads to anxiety and worry.

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What are you more likely to do if you are feeling stressed, anxious or worried? ​ Take you foot of the well-being and 'weight loss' gas.

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You'll start to think you can't think about weight loss or doing your mediation or going for you walk, that you don't have the time, energy or brain capacity to think about that too and it will likely fall by the wayside.

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I always say life and 'weight loss' go together like a jigsaw. ​ They do! ​ They really do.

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I will also say lasting 'weight loss' is not just about the food and exercise because again it is not. ​

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You could be eating a great balanced diet and moving your body but the scale, if you 'weigh', is still not budging due to cortisol. ​ You could be struggling to find the balance due to overeating from the decision fatigue and all the excuses your brain has chosen to feed you to keep you in your comfort zone, safe from things it perceives as hard.

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It's time to shit or get off the pot as the saying goes and that starts with making a decision.

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Who do you want to be, what do you need to do tho get there and how can you get that done with love and ease.

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Backstage Pass members I have a dropped a tool into the porta to help you when making decisions. ​ A little something that goes beyond the typical pros and cons list but you can also reach out for support in the support group. ​ VIP members or 1 to 1 client can jump on a call.

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Let's work you through that decision so you can move on.

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Making Decisions with Love For Weight Loss and Well-being

Following on from the theme of the week which is losing it with love. ​ What has love got to do with decision-making?

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Well, let me ask you this. ​

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Are you more likely to keep doing something you love and want to do than something you don't like.

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How would you feel if you inner dialogue was 'I get to', ' I want to' or 'I choose to'. ​ Rather than 'I have to', 'I must', 'I need to'?

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In fact let's test that. ​ Close your eyes if it is safe to do so.

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Take a deep breath and listen to the words.

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I have to

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I must

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I need to.

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Come back to me.

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Let me know in the chat how you feel?

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I feel a little panicked just saying them. ​ Yes, there is urgency. ​ I get the fact that sometimes we think the only way we will get things done is with that urgency. ​ In fact I have coached a few women who have the belief they won't achieve anything if they do not have some kind of 'pressure' on them. ​ But that pressure can be positive it does not have to feel negative. ​

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There is also a little bit of fear that comes up by saying 'I have to', 'I need to' and 'I must'. ​ Fear can be a motivator for sure, that feeling of if I don't do something, something bad will happen. ​ So of course you want to do it. ​ But the thing is it doesn't make me feel great. ​ I feel stressed and anxious. ​ So then if this is something to do with 'weight loss' or well-being it can be counterproductive if your body starts to release cortisol and it can certainly bring with it drama.

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Close your eyes again if it is safe to do so.

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'I get to',

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' I want to'

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'I choose to'.

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How do these feel?

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Empowering, I feel so much better saying them. ​ I still feel motivated but I don't have the ick. ​ I want to do the thing what ever it is.

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This is why you make decisions with and from love.

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We want to lose the ick, lose the drama so we can find more joy in the process and sometimes all it take is a few word shifts.

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Using positive language to remove drama is just one of the things you can try.

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It is also about starting to prove to yourself that you can make decision-making easier, that you do have the power to choose how you want to show up in any given situation and make decisions from a place of love, not fear.

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It is about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, so when those big decisions come along around whether they be about 'weight loss' or well-being r something else they don't seem too daunting because you know that no matter what you can figure it out.

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This comes with time and creating experiences where you can show up like a decision making bad ass. ​ So you can gather evidence and wins to change any underlying beliefs you may have.

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This is what will empower you to build a positive relationship with decision making, with yourself and help you to find more joy in the 'weight loss' process as you step into your power and become more confident in your ability to make good choices

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Final Thoughts

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Nelson Mandela spoke of the importance of making decisions with love: "May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears."

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Make decisions that come from a place of compassion and optimism rather than fear and self-doubt.

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So take a moment today to check in with yourself and ask: are my decisions coming from a place of fear or love?

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If it's fear, that's ok. Just be aware and give yourself the space to make decisions with more love. ​

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Remember that when you do this, you are taking steps towards building a positive relationship with yourself and finding joy in your 'weight loss' journey. ​

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Don't forget the Backstage Pass is open and I will see you on the inside.

Want to get cracking and need some support you know where I am check out the description on how you can work with me.

See you next week!

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