Ep 53 - Overcoming Those F'it Moments

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Have you ever noticed that when it comes to making positive changes in your life or taking what are positive actions, like committing to a weight loss plan, applying for new jobs, doing the dishes or doing your business accounts that you find yourself rebelling against your own plans and intentions?

The immortal word's of f'it .... ringing through your head? F'it I can't be arsed... F'it I'll start again tomorrow or Monday. F'it what does it matter anyway.

How often do you then think wtf? Why can't I just stick to my plan? What is wrong with me?

Ultimately, we all have an inner rebel.

You know that part of us that rises up when we are faced with something new or something we think is challenging that subconsciously says "nope not today". She usually appears when we are telling ourselves no or setting limits or telling ourselves we should be doing something.

The great news... you are perfectly normal!

Phew! Always great to hear right!

It's perfectly normal, when we decide we want to do something about our health and fitness, take on a new job, find a new love interest, or do something for ourselves, others or businesses for example that a little part of us will rebel.

This voice can be big, small, medium, nagging or overwhelming and sometimes a mix

At times, it can feel like our inner saboteur seems hell-bent on stopping us from achieving our goals and making positive changes in our lives.

Want to dive more into your saboteurs for weight loss check out episode 43.

We can also then get a whole range of emotions to accompany our rebel anger, fear, doubt, insecurity, judgement, overwhelm, and fatigue to name a few.

It can be very draining.

The good news is that there are strategies you can use to help you stay true to yourself and your goals.

It’s time to learn how to take control of your inner rebel so you can stay true to yourself and the goals you set.

Coming up in today's show:

• Where does your inner rebel come from?
• Get to know yourself better
• Make a conscious choice and take action
• Holding your tootsies to the fire.

As usual, let me know what your takeaways are from this episode in the Wellness 4 Women Facebook Group? Leave a #gem plus your comment. Likewise got a question the group is the place to be for a private community and support.

Super quick intro as usual for those new to my world, I am Faye Casement. Having lost over 70lbs, I believe life and sustainable weight loss go together like a jigsaw. You cannot work on one without factoring in the other. You are unique and so deserve a unique method and I can help you build it, want to know how? Reach out to me on any of my socials, links are in the description.

So back to the rebel within.

I had some coaching this week knowing that I was writing the show.

I wanted to explore my rebel within. Where my F'it moments come from.

I know, for example, I can procrastinate on tasks I don't want to do, I have had moments lately where I don't plan or show up for my weight loss how I wanted to and I wanted to explore these.

I have to do this work too. I need coaching. I am just a normal human being like all of you listening.

But I do the work because I want to be different I want o0t change and grow, I want to be someone who lives an intentional life, where I do what I set out to and achieve my goals. I want to be someone who shows up for myself daily for my healthy habits. So it was really important for me that I explored this.

And I wanted to share with you my main takeaways/reminders in case you need to hear it:

So they were:

• Having an inner rebel is normal. It is normal to feel resistance at times. It is OK!
• Self Sabotage, rebelling against my plans, not following through at times is normal and means nothing about me until I put a thought to it. It is how our brains work.
• I can work on letting go of judgement
• I can continue to commit to figuring out life & weight loss one day at a time and I can figure out where the resistance shows and why and using the techniques I now have and share to keep chipping away at them so I can be who I want to be.

The power of coaching at its best!

I went for wondering what is wrong with me, why do I do these things, to have a way forward and some clarity on what I wanted to do next.

Will I be perfect at it?... No

Will I still have F'it moments?... yes!

Will there be obstacles in my way?... yes!

But will I grow and move forward... 1000% yes!

So how can you explore your F'its whether that be thought coaching or self-coaching?

Where does your inner rebel come from?

So first a little science lesson. Where does the rebel come from? Who is she? The one that say's f'it?

She is of course you, well a part of you.

Knowing ourselves well, taking ownership for ourselves and accepting ourselves is where it is at!

I decided the best way I could describe her is she is the love child of our past and present.

You've heard me talk about our brains before in other episodes but ultimately your inner rebel is within your primitive brain or habit brain. Its primary purposes are survival, maintaining the status quo, keeping us happy and keeping us safe.

Your inner rebel, also doesn't like as a rule being told what to do, even if it is for your own good and this can create resistance.

Our little rebel within can get a bit confused. So we have to help her out.

Let her run the party and we end up reacting our way through life rather than proactively driving our own destiny.

Each of our inner rebels is different. It is why you cannot just have one solution to a problem and why it is critical you build your own path in life and weight loss.

Your inner rebel was formed in your past through childhood and past experiences etc and is reinforced by your present by what you keep doing, hence why I called her the love child of your past and present but she doesn't have to define your future.

It can be helpful to take a step back and ask yourself what is driving your behaviour. Where are the f'its coming from.

Is it fear of change and failing, or a lack of confidence in your abilities? Or perhaps it’s a desire to stay in your comfort zone or to feel relief.

Relief is a common one I hear when coaching.

Is there an old story you need to unpick?

Is it a habit?

Is there a trigger?

Identifying and understanding why you may be resistant or uncomfortable with making changes in your life or achieving your goals is transformational as it is then easier to explore ways to tackle them.

When do your F'It appear?

How better to get to know what is going on and when the f'its arise as to gather awareness. Observe with loving curiosity what is happening in your life & weight loss.

Take time to get to know yourself better, your triggers, thoughts, feelings and actions.

When are the times you say f'it and step away from your plans, goals and dreams?

I let you into the biggest secret of all!

It is not actually the f'it or whatever the F'it leads to like food, drink, gambling, procrastinating that is the problem... these are just the end results.

Something happened before it most likely.

A bad day at work, an argument with a partner, kids running you round in circles, a task to do, nothing to do, out with friends. It started with a situation.

Sure you could try and will power your way through. Tell yourself you just need to be disciplined it can work short term but it's not a solution.

We then wonder why we fail and often it is because we try to use fear-based motivation. More on this later.

So when working on weight loss it is not the food that is the issue which is what 'dieting' would have you believe.

If you are trying to do your business finances, procrastination is not the real problem.

We are often trying to solve the wrong thing.

When you say f'it, your brain is trying to tell you it doesn't matter. I don't matter. My goals don't matter. But why is it telling you these do you really think you don't matter, your goals don't matter or did something happen just before it? Chances are you are looking for relief from something.

We need to identify what led to urging for the food, what led to the procrastination etc and hack that.

Make a conscious choice & Take Action

Rather than allowing reactance to take over and lead us astray from our goals, we must learn how to make conscious choices about our behaviour instead of letting our emotions do the talking for us.

When faced with a difficult situation or you are on the verge of a f'it, pause for a moment and ask yourself “What do I really need right now?" "How can I show up for myself in this moment?”

This simple action will help bring awareness into your decision-making process so that you can make more mindful decisions that align with your values and goals.

Once you have identified the underlying cause of your inner rebel and how she shows up, it’s important to use this mindful awareness to make conscious decisions about how you want to respond and take action.

Loving curiosity is the key!

Do you have old stories? Do they still have a purpose in your life or are they outdated and in need of replacement or deletion?

Is this an old habits? How did it start what is one small thing you can do to try and change it?

What was the trigger and how can you solve it?

For example, were you putting to much pressure on yourself causing demand avoidance? How can you slow your roll next time so as not to overwhelm yourself?

Are there patterns of thinking or behaviour that you can watch out for?

These are the micro-decisions and action steps will change your life. Do they need to be the right decision? No. They are just a decision, no big drama. Just something to try on for size and to see if they make a difference.

The smaller the step the easier the climb. The easier the climb the quicker it will take in the end. As you start to build trust with yourself build confidence and keep motivated.

Change, of course, doesn’t happen overnight or always have to in one go - it can take time and patience, so commit to figuring it out and staying true to yourself and your goals.

Holding your tootsies to the fire - How to stay accountable.

This is all amazing of course. I can sit here until the cows come home talking to you about all the things you could consider doing but you have to do it. This is where the rubber meets the road and where you need to figure out a way to hold your tootsies to the fire and get that shit done.

It is where a coach and community can help to keep you accountable and help you so you keep up your new habits.

For myself, I am keeping a track of my learning points in my new OneNote.

I'll be talking about it regularly to my coach.

I talk about what I am working on in the Wellness 4 women Membership and with my accountability buddies.

I will continue to find a way to keep myself motivated and so can you.

Round Up

Ultimately, the best way to stay true to our goals and make positive changes in our lives is by becoming aware of any patterns that may be preventing us from reaching them. We can then take small steps towards achieving these goals with loving curiosity, a commitment to understanding ourselves better, and an accountability system that helps keep us motivated.

Through this process we will learn how to recognise and prevent f'its and overcome your inner rebel to find success on our journey of self-improvement!

“You’re not meant to be perfect; you’re meant to be real." 

When faced with the challenge of conquering your inner rebel and staying true to your goals, practice loving curiosity and mindful awareness. Create an accountability system that keeps you motivated, and take small steps towards achieving your goals

As usual, want to really make sure you are getting the benefit out of these videos then don't forget to leave your #gems in the Wellness 4 Women Group.

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Categories: : Weight loss