Ep: #46 - The ONE Relationship You Cannot Afford To Neglect!

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Hello Hello Hello and Welcome to episode number 46 of the Wellness 4 Women Show

If I asked you right now what the most important relationship was in your life what would you say?

Chances are, you may say your spouse/partner, your children, your parents or close friends. But what about the most important relationship of all? The one you have with yourself. Would you/do you give yourself a second thought?

I know many women tend to put themselves down the pecking order of importance. Whether that be in their career, their family, their weight loss journey or just everyday life. I want to spend some time today talking about why the most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself as we sometimes need a little reminder.

Just like any other relationship, the one you have with yourself needs to be nurtured and cared for. That means making time for self-care, reflection and soul-searching. It means being your own best friend and biggest supporter. And it means investing in yourself – body, mind and soul. Only by doing this can you hope to have true lasting success in life, weight loss and everything in between.

Coming up in today's show:

1. The importance of the relationship you have with yourself

2. Why it's essential to nurture your self-relationship if you want lasting weight loss

3. How to nurture your relationship with yourself

4. How to make time for self-care, reflection and soul-searching

5. Being your own best friend and biggest supporter

Let me know what your takeaways are from this episode in the Wellness 4 Women Group? Leave a #gem plus your comment. Likewise got a question the group is the place to be for community and support.

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Super quick intro as usual for those new to my world, I am Faye Casement. I believe life and sustainable weight loss go together like a jigsaw. You cannot work on one without factoring in the other. You are unique and so deserve a unique method and I can help you build it, want to know how? Reach out to me on any of my socials, links are in the description.

So back to YOU!

The importance of the relationship you have with yourself

We've all been there. We're so busy taking care of our families/pets, our careers/businesses, and our homes that we forget to take care of the most important person in our lives: ourselves.

You can't pour from an empty cup. I once had someone say on my Facebook profile that Self-Compassion was selfish. I call BS.

In order to truly take care of those around you, you need to take care of yourself first.

Taking care of your own physical, mental and emotional needs as best you can so you can be the best version of yourself.

We've all heard the analogy, "If you're on an airplane and the oxygen masks drop, what are the flight attendants going to tell you to do? Put YOUR oxygen mask on first, and then help those around you."

But it is true! If you're not taking care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of others as well too. It's as simple as that. You can't help yourself or others as well if you are not present physically, mentally and/or as emotionally as you possibly could be - unique to you and your circumstances of course.

It runs deeper than this though. We have relationships with everything, money, work, food, health, society and the list goes on, and how you show up for you will also change how you show up for, in, and around these areas too.

The quality of our lives is therefore directly related to the quality of our relationships. If we don't have a good relationship with ourselves, it's impossible to have healthy, fulfilling relationships with others and the world around us.

When we're not taking care of ourselves emotionally or mentally, it's difficult to be present for others.

We might find ourselves being more reactive than usual, lashing out when we're feeling triggered or stressed. Or, we might sink into negative patterns like people-pleasing or codependency.

We might make poor decisions regarding, money, work, studies, food and health, that we wouldn't make if we were taking care of ourselves first.

If we want to have rich, satisfying relationships with others and life in general, we need to make sure our relationship with ourselves is on solid ground.

Why it's essential to nurture your self-relationship if you want lasting weight loss

As women with a history of dieting it is common to find we more than other have a negative relationship with ourselves. One that can be built on a foundation of self-doubt, insecurity and negativity.

The diets over the years have added to this as we have gone through cycles of feeling deprived, then overeating all the time piling on the shame and guilt and negative self-talk.

It is no wonder we find weight loss hard when our inner dialogue sounds something like this "I'll never be thin/good enough/happy etc" or "I don't deserve to be happy/thin/healthy"

This my lovelies is why it is so essential to nurture your relationship with yourself if you want weight loss that lasts. We need to start from a place of self-love and compassion in order for the weight to come off and stay off for good. This might sound like a airy-fairy concept but weight loss is 80% mindset, 20% action.

Think about it like this - if you're trying to lose weight and your inner dialogue is one of self-doubt, insecurity and negativity, do you think you're going to be successful? No, of course not! The weight may come off temporarily but as soon as the going gets tough, and it OFTEN does, you're more likely to give up and revert back to your old habits and give yourself a beatdown for yet another failed weight loss attempt.

On the other hand, if you have a positive relationship with yourself, one that is built on self-love and compassion, you're more likely to be successful in your weight loss journey because you believe in yourself and your ability to overcome any hurdle that comes your way. It brings you sustainability, staying power, motivation and momentum like you would never believe.

This is why we work on food freedom in the membership. I encourage all of my members to lose weight in a way that feels aligned with them and their lives. There is no point in me giving you a diet plan and saying "stick to this" as you won't be able to do it long term.

You have to build your own & I give you the simple tools to do that.

I give you mindset tools and a planner and a simple process that allows you to take back control of food and in a way that brings you more joy than any diet ever could.

Plus a load of mindfulness and life coaching resources, plus coaching support and walk along side you as you build it out.

#ditchthedietdrama #findmorejoy

How to nurture your relationship with yourself

So how do you go about nurturing your relationship with yourself? Here are some ideas to get you started:

- Spend time every day doing something that brings you joy. This could be reading, going for a walk in nature, listening to music, taking a bath, practising yoga or meditation. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it makes YOU feel good.

- Make time for reflection and soul-searching. This could involve journaling, spending time in nature, or attending workshops or retreats that help you to connect with your innermost self.

- Invest in yourself. This could mean taking a class or course that interests you, investing in a good skincare routine, getting a massage or going on a trip that you've always wanted to take. Whatever makes YOU feel good. The membership of course is great for this.

- Be your own best friend and biggest supporter. This means being kind and compassionate to yourself, speaking kindly to yourself, and forgiving yourself when you make mistakes. It also means celebrating your successes, no matter how small they may be.

By investing in this relationship with yourself, you will find that weight loss becomes easier, sustainable and so much more enjoyable. You will also find that you are better equipped to handle the challenges that life throws your way, weight loss included. So make the decision today to nurture your relationship with yourself, and see how it transforms your weight loss journey.

How to make time for self-care, reflection and soul-searching

Now I hear you, ladies... I can hear the shouts..."but Faye, you wouldn't believe how busy I am!, I don't have time for me once I have taken care of my career, business, family, pets etc"

If you want a more in-depth look at 'time' check out Episode 21 "How Time Impacts Your Weight Loss".

But for today let's take a quick look at how you can make more time.

Yep, you heard me make more time.

Okay we are not magicians here but in the same breath we have to remember time is a manmade construct it is also just like everything else in life you have "have a relationship" with.

Believe me, I know as my relationship with time is a strong one. I have a lot of thoughts about not having enough time, being too busy, that there is not enough time in the day.

The crazy thing is when you do some of the mindset work I teach you, you start to realise that actually, the stories we tell ourselves such as the ones about time are actually just that...a story.

And like all stories, you always have a choice to change the way it goes. You can rewrite your story about time and how much of it you have. It is totally up to you what version of the story you want to live.

"I don't have time" or "I make time"

The more you catch yourself saying things like "I don't have time" see if you can change it to "I make time". This simple switch in your language will help to change your relationship with time.

It also takes the victim mindset out of the equation and puts you back into the driving seat of your life. Which is exactly where you want to be when it comes to weight loss.

So here are some of my favourite tips for finding more time:

- Set yourself a regular daily/weekly/monthly slot in your diary for self-care, reflection and soul-searching and treat it like any other important meeting or deadline. This is non-negotiable time for you and your relationship with yourself.

- Get up earlier or go to bed later to fit it in. I know this is not always possible or desirable but if you can make even just 30 minutes extra each day it will soon add up.

- If you have children, can you involve them in your self-care activities? For example, if you enjoy yoga or meditation, can you do this while they are sleeping or watching a movie? Or, if you enjoy going for walks in nature, can you take them with you?

- Ask for help from your partner, friends or family. Can they take on some of your responsibilities for a set period of time so that you can have some extra time for yourself?

Making time for self-care, reflection and soul-searching is an investment in your future. It is an investment in your weight loss journey and in your life. So make the decision today to nurture your relationship with yourself, and see how it transforms your weight loss journey.

It doesn't have to be a lot in order to see a big difference.

We chat and I coach on this all the time as we all work on finding balance in life for all the things we want to do and what is important to us whilst working on weight loss.

Being your own best friend and biggest supporter

In addition to taking care of yourself physically, you also need to nurture your mental and emotional health.

The best part about my weight loss and biggest victory was learning to be kinder to myself!

I was a tough task master on myself, I still can be at times but thankfully more rarely and with far less name-calling!

How would your life be if when you made a mistake, you took down the judgment a few notches?

Didn't beat yourself up but just agreed with yourself you would learn from it and move on.

If you wouldn't say it your sister, daughter, mother, best friend then don't say it to yourself. Simple.

Be wary of the self-deprecating comedy trap also, you know the one where you make fun of yourself before anyone else can. Or one where you give yourself some kind of label like "I'm lazy" or "I am destined to be fat". This is not being your own best friend, this is putting yourself down before anyone else has a chance to and the labels become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I used to do this all the time, I would make a mistake and then in my head, I would call myself names like "stupid" or "idiot". This would then lead to me feeling even worse about myself and my weight loss journey.

This needs to stop! Draw a line under this type of talk today.

We are so much more than our weight, our job, our clothes, what we drive, how much money we have in the bank. We are so much more than what we do or don't do.

We are human beings deserving of love, compassion and respect. So start today by being your own best friend and biggest supporter.

And finally...

I want to leave you with this thought...

Your relationship with yourself is critical. Nurture it, invest in it, and watch how your weight loss journey, and life transforms as a result.

Remember that you are the only one who knows what's best for you.

You are unique, your life is unique and so one size does not fit all.

Ask yourself daily questions like:

• What do I really need right now?
• How can I prioritise my well-being today?
• How can I show myself compassion right now?

That's it folks! Pop into the Wellness 4 Women Group and let us know what this episode sparked for you. As a community, we learn from each other, and by discussing what comes up and getting support.

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Categories: : mindfulness, mindset, Weight loss