Ep: #41 - Overcoming Doubt and Fear to Live a Happier Life

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We all have doubts and fear from time to time. It is a normal part of being a human but let's face it, it can really feel like ass.

Fear and doubt can keep us small, it can prevent us from doing things that may be out of our comfort zones. Stopping us from living our lives to the fullest.

If we let fear and doubt take hold, these two emotional sisters can have a negative impact on our well-being, and how we show up for ourselves and our goals and dreams.

In today’s episode, I want to explore them more and what you can do to live a happier life.

We all know what doubt and fear are but it never hurts to remind ourselves of the definitions, to hear out loud what we are facing. The more awareness you can get the more you can step into action and accountability and make the changes you need for success.

Doubt

Doubt - "a feeling of uncertainty or lack of confidence".

It can feel heavy and ickie right?

It can really show up in your body. For me, I feel it in my head, my heart and my stomach. When I feel doubt my brain feels foggy, my heart and chest tense and my tummy all knotted common feelings with anxiety.

It can at times be paralysing, leading to you getting so stuck that you take no action at all, preventing you from moving forward.

Fear

Fear - "an emotion leading to feelings of anxiety or dread". It can lead to catastrophic thinking, worrying something bad is going to happen and just like its sister doubt can stop you from taking any actions or moving forward.

Again show up in our heads and our hearts. Obtrusive thoughts, worry and tension throughout the body.

The impact

Letting these settle, simply put prevents you from living your life to the fullest.

This can negatively impact your well-being, and prevent you from achieving your goals and dreams.

We, myself included, can end up second-guessing ourselves, leading us to make decisions that are not in our best interests or not making the decision at all. We can miss opportunities because we are too afraid to take the leap.

It can also prevent us from being our authentic selves, living life on our terms and enjoying the moment.

Maybe this sounds like you or someone you know… let me know in the video chat!

I'm going to give some tips on how you can overcome these with a little courage and a sprinkling of determination, for a happier life.

Overcoming doubt and fear

If you have caught previous shows you know your thoughts are what lead to your emotion.

Let me say that again, your thoughts are what lead to your emotions. So when your thoughts spiral out of control so do your emotions and the crazy-making begins.

It is about getting really aware of the thoughts that are creating feelings of doubt and fear.

More often the root of these is that you do not feel good enough in some way. Not capable enough to, smart enough, good enough to fill in the blank.

For me, I used to compare myself a lot to others and feel like I was not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not this or that. The list goes on. And as long as these thoughts were swirling around in my head it kept me small and also kept me overeating!

I had worked through a lot of these and was more confident than ever but then I decided to start a business! I have pushed myself out of the safe zone and therefore my brain has given me a whole new world of thoughts to deal with.

But do you know what?

That is ok.

I know how to work these through and how to learn and grow as a result so although I may often think things like 'this should not be happening or 'I am going to fail' I know they are not really true.

It is just my brain showing me tigers to keep me safe, I just have to calm the cowardly lion.

One of the things we learn at coach school is we are, all born innately with the same amount of human value and worth. It is only when we compare ourselves to others that we lose sight of that, thinking we need to do more or have more to feel better about ourselves.

Self-doubt often comes from not valuing and loving who you are as you are in this moment. If you can work on accepting and loving yourself for who you are it will help diminish the self-doubt.

Remember a thought is just a thought, it's not a reality unless you chose to believe it is true.

Start to catch yourself when you are having these thoughts and question them. Is this really true? How do I know this is true? What evidence do I have for this? Most of the time it is not true and if it really is you can decide to act.

Courage

In order to overcome your fears and doubts, you need to tap into the brave, courageous you that you really are and calm the cowardly lion.

When writing this I was thinking about the Wizard of OZ and the cowardly lion and how really he had it all along he just couldn't see it, he needs something to show him.

You and I are the same. We have the courage, I know this because if you had to you would take the steps. You just haven't built up enough necessity or evidence yet.

You need to get curious about your fears and take action steps to push yourself out of your comfort zone. It might be scary at first, but once you take that first step, you'll feel better.

Trying to hold them down and bottling them up just extends your suffering or leads to behaviours that do not serve you.

I know this from my own experience. I thought that I had to always be capable, that I couldn’t ask for help, and that I had to be perfect. My weight loss journey helped me to see this was not true. I was far from perfect. I had many overeats, didn’t move my body as intended etc but I still lost the weight.

This is still a work in progress for me. My perfectionist tendencies are engrained within me. Like I posted this week and as I was saying I have had a period where loads of doubt and fear were coming up.

My brain was seeing tigers everywhere and as a result, my brain was encouraging me to do safe things like eat and buffer with online games rather than do the inner work I needed to.

The great thing though, thanks to my journey I recognised what was happening and I drew the line.

As a few of my coaches have said over the years. “Chose your pain!” The pain you suffer now with fear and doubt or the pain of trying.

If you never try, you'll never know what you are really capable of achieving.

It can be helpful to really drill into your fears. What is it you are really afraid of as often what you are thinking is not true.

For example, you, may worry that if you start another diet program you will quit and you will have failed again, so why bother?

The real fear here could be you are worried about being seen as a failure or not being good enough, which is not true unless you chose to believe it.

You could as an alternative decide not to quit but commit to figuring it out no matter what. Yes, there will be ups and downs but the only absolute failure is in not trying, as this failing ahead of time when then the outcome could be glorious!

Determination

The key to success in anything is simply not quitting. Committing to figuring it out, no matter what. If you want something badly enough you will do it as you build that necessity.

You need to be determined and have the grit to see things through even when the going gets tough.

You may be thinking well Faye if I had that we wouldn't be here, would we!

I hear you, I get you.

But you are not there yet and that is ok. It does not mean you can't be.

This is where having a growth mindset comes into it. A growth mindset is one where you chose to believe there is really no such thing as failure just an opportunity to learn and improve.

Finding ways to build your confidence is great for banishing fear and doubt.

During a weight loss journey, you will ‘fail’ a lot. You will have overeats, you will have weeks where you don’t move how you intended, and you will have weeks where you gain or plateau this is all normal,  It is important you give yourself grace with self-acceptance.

We all make mistakes—it's part of being human! Learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward and celebrate regardless.

Happiness

Of course, negative emotions like fear and doubt can also impact our well-being. Stress and anxiety in the self can impact our happiness and mental health but can also create physical problems. Your mind and body are more connected than most realise. I touched on this a bit already. When your body and mind are living in doubt and fear you will feel it mind, body, and soul. Your cortisol levels will be high which can lead to increased cravings and other symptoms such as headaches, tiredness, inability to concentrate, upset tummies, feeling overwhelmed and anxious. All of which impact our health, well-being and happiness.

This is why I encourage working on life and weight loss and overall well-being. Commonly, we think losing weight is all about what we eat but actually, sometimes we just need to work on being happier and the food and weight loss will follow.

So actually if you are going to be courageous and determined about anything make it about finding balance and more joy in the little things and the big things to take down the temperature of stress.

Conclusion:

Right that is it folks, no one ever said life was easy.

We all face challenges and obstacles, both big and small. But it's important to remember that we have the power to overcome those challenges if we just have a little bit of courage and determination.

So don't let your fears hold you back from living your best life—you're capable of anything!

Need help with this reach out to see how we can work together, I have various life and weight loss coaching techniques we can use to bust through doubt and fear as well as coaching,

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Let me know what this episode sparks for you.

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Categories: : Weight loss